My Family Vacation
by Heart the Squid
Summary: By Rosie M.


**Wrote this quite a while ago, pretty interested to see how the concept goes down. Keep in mind that the speaker here is a child, so most (well, okay, at least some) technical errors are part of her persona. Of course, I own nothing. T for light language.  
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**Semester Assignment:** Choose one of the following three topics. Over the course of the semester you will write a series of journals and papers on the topic, which will be turned in before winter break for twenty-five percent of your final grade. Feel free to supplement with drawings and photographs.

**Topics:** 1) your pet or pets, 2) a family vacation, 3) coal byproducts.

My Family Vacation, by Rosie M.

I wanted to write about my pet but I don't have one, except for maybe Uncle Haymitch, who mommy calls a pig sometimes when she's very mad. Even if I had a real pig, I probably wouldn't be able to say much about it. Pigs are pretty boring. Coal byproducts are boring too, so I guess I'm writing about my family vacation.

I never wanted to go on the trip in the first place. I hate the going to the Capitol, and the ceremony made me miss the season finale of _The Adventures of Sheep-Boy_. I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if we took the train like normal people, but as soon as we got the invitation in the mail daddy ran out and found a car. He didn't actually buy it, just got it off the junkyard guy, who fixed the brakes for free as a favor. He didn't do a very good job but daddy was still excited.

Daddy said this about the car: It's beautiful! Just look at that blue! As soon as I replace the windows and have someone look at the engine it will be perfect! We can enjoy the favorite pastime of Panem—road trips!

Mommy said this: It's a piece of junk. Just look at that awful blue. All these windows are broken and the motor sounds like a dying cat. This thing will run us off a cliff and we will all die. And don't be ridiculous—no one likes road trips.

Rye, my stupid little brother, said this: I like the flames on the sides.

Then mommy made daddy paint over the flames.

But still, we all got into the car to drive to the Capitol for the Fifteenth Anniversary of National Liberation Ceremony last fall. I had to copy lots of big words off the invitation for that sentence but I think I spelled everything right. The car was really tiny. Mommy said it was the size of a small couch and about as fast. There were two eensy rows of bench seats and no seatbelts. Even Rye was squished, and he was only four then.

Daddy had practiced driving for a long time in our backyard then in the driveway then finally in streets around the district when everyone was at work and things were quiet. He knocked over a million mailboxes and flattened some shrubs but eventually got pretty good, so I wasn't worried that we would crash. I did get really carsick, though. Rye and I spent the first five days of travel to District Four puking into bags. When we finally got to Four, Annie gave us medicine that stopped us from getting sick if we took it every day. It was purple and tasted terrible.

Annie didn't come on the trip with us. She had promised that she would over the phone, but then when we arrived she had a broken leg. Mommy said that Annie probably faked the whole thing so she wouldn't have to come. Then she said that it was a really good idea and that she wished she had thought of it first.

Detlan did come with us, though. Detlan is Annie's kid. He was born just after the war, which is when his dad was killed. I don't really know much about his dad was except he was really famous and very handsome. Detlan says that everyone is surprised that he doesn't look like his father (besides his eyes which are very blue he looks a lot like Annie) and that it's annoying how everyone calls him Finn before they know his actual name. Why people would do this I don't know.

Detlan is also a big liar. About two days after we left Four he asked if we could turn on the radio because the quiet "was driving him up the fucking wall". (He curses a lot, but not as much as Uncle Haymitch when he's mad, and not nearly as much as Johanna.) The rest of us were surprised that a car would have a radio and he laughed at us for being hicks. Then I tried to punch him which made him laugh more. Anyway, once we got the radio going, it was mostly static. Detlan said: hang on a second, and then he opened a window and stuck his head out. The static went away and bad piano music started playing.

ME: How did you do that?

DETLAN: I have a steel plate in my head. It picks up radio signals sometimes, like an antenna.

ME: I don't believe you.

DETLAN: It's true. I cracked my head on some rocks learning to swim when I was little. My brain would have fallen out if they didn't give me the plate. I could head-butt my way through a brick wall with this baby.

ME: Liar.

RYE: Yeah, liar, liar!

MOMMY: Be quiet back there. I'm trying to read the map. Your _father_ got us lost again.

DETLAN: Feel the plate if you don't believe me.

Then he pulled back into the car and let me and Rye feel the side of his head for the steel plate. I guess there was a pretty big bump there and the radio really did get clearer when he put his head outside the window, but I still think he's a big fat liar. Otherwise he's okay. He taught me lots of knots and how to spit for distance.

The car was even more crowded with Detlan in it. We all took shifts sitting in the front because it had more room, except for daddy who never left the driver's seat because he was the only one who could drive. One time when I was in the back with Mommy and Rye I asked why the roads were there in the first place. I knew all about how Panem was before the war, when no one could leave their district except on the train and then only on special trips for the government, so it didn't make sense for there to be lots of roads everywhere.

Mommy explained it like this: After the war, most industry stopped. The Capitol had tried to starve out the districts and the districts had tried to starve out the Capitol at the same time, so almost all crop and grazing land was burned and useless. Most factories were burned too, or blown up, or just didn't have enough people to work them. There was a terrible depression. (I think that's when everyone gets too sad to do anything and the country stops working, but I'm not sure.) Some people even wanted the Capitol back in charge because even though the government had been very bad there had been steady work and wages back then. That idea was getting more popular and the president then, some lady from District Eight, knew she had to do something. So highways were constructed all over the country in an attempt to bring large-scale industry back, giving hundreds of thousands of people good work and good pay. The depression ended and even though times were hard for many years, the economy was stable and things were getting better all the time.

I know I missed some words and sentences there, so she didn't say exactly that but it's pretty close. Her actual speech was very confusing but I think I got most of it.

Anyway, even though the roads were very nice and smooth, not like the ones at home, we didn't see many people on them at first. There was a little traffic when we got near towns and the district borders, but mostly we were alone. The roads in the west side of Four were cut through this swampy sort of forest and so we were bitten by lots of bugs.

Detlan pointed out an alligator by the side of the road once but that was as exciting as it got. We slept in the car and sometimes in motor-hotels when they were convenient. We got gas every few days and stretched and walked around in the empty lots. Most of the places to eat and rest along the road were owned by the government, built at the same time as the roads, so they were pretty grey and boring.

We didn't really take breaks or go sightseeing. One day when she was mad because Rye and I had been fighting, Mommy said this was because "your father and I grossly underestimated the sheer size of this goddamn stupid country". It turns out that Panem is really, really big. We thought it would take about a week to get to the Capitol but it took us that long just to get out of Four, so we had to drive basically nonstop if we wanted to be there in time for the Liberation Ceremony. I said we should just turn around and go home but no one listened.

So that's how the start of my family vacation went. We drove through a stupid swamp and got bitten by bugs and saw hardly anybody else and listened to music through the plate in Detlan's skull. That's all.

**Morning Assignment:** Continue your semester projects. Write at least two pages, double spaced. We will share out loud before snack.

So after we got to District Six we went to a pretty big city near a river and picked up Johanna. She wasn't happy because we were three days late. She said lots of things that I don't think I can put in a school paper and then climbed into the car, threw her bag into the trunk, and took about half the backseat for herself. I still can't figure out how she did this because she's so tiny.

Johanna was happy to see me and Rye because she thinks we're cute and likes getting us to tease our parents for her. She gave me a snow globe from District Eight which had a leak and got sticky blue water all over my hands and gave Rye a stuffed bunny which had one eye and no legs or arms. She was trying to be nice. She didn't have anything for Detlan because they got into a fight the last time they saw each other, which was five years ago when Detlan was ten. I think the fight was over who got the last macaroon at the holiday dinner we were all at except for Rye because he wasn't born. They both still have the scars.

Nothing happened until that evening when we stopped for dinner at another government rest stop. I got a waffle and talked about _The Adventures of Sheep-Boy_ with Detlan and Rye. The grown-ups were sitting at another table so I didn't notice they were fighting until they started yelling. They fight almost every time they see each other so this wasn't a big deal. Then Johanna threw a mug, which shattered, so the lady running the rest stop made them take it outside. Daddy scooped up Rye on his way out and I guess he expected Detlan and me to follow but we decided to stay inside and finish our dinner.

About ten minutes later we noticed that the others had left without us, really left. I just glanced out at the parking lot and saw that the car—which is very hard to miss because its paint is so bright—was gone. I wasn't scared at all of course, but I was very worried for the others so I started to cry. Detlan said they would be back soon then bought me another waffle. He wasn't worried even a little bit. I asked why.

DETLAN: It's not a big deal. My mom lost me all the time when I was little.

ME: How could she lose a kid?

DETLAN: I don't know. I'd turn away or go to have a look at something and when I looked back she'd have wandered off somewhere. She always came back if I stayed put.

ME: Is it true that your mom is crazy?

DETLAN: Who told you that she was?

ME: Johanna.

DETLAN: Of course. Well, she isn't. She's just a little different. Now eat your waffle.

The others came back for us pretty soon. Then we kept heading west and all the grown-ups were so mad that they didn't talk for a whole day and a half.

**Weekend Assignment: **Continue semester project. Write at least four pages, double spaced. NO EXTENSIONS.

Things didn't get much more interesting after we picked up Beetee. Mommy says he's a genius but I think he's just weird. He was nice, I guess, but he mostly just wrote in this big notebook. When he tried to explain to me what he was working on I didn't understand a word of what he said. I think maybe he was just making it all up.

We were all really bored by that point. We sang "Ninety-Nine Peacekeepers on the Wall" so many times that even Rye got tired of it, and that was during his repetition phase. Mommy got super mad at Johanna for telling us that the song can also go like "Ninety-Nine Peacekeepers Up Against the Wall" and then she said that we weren't allowed to sing such an awful song anymore. I didn't get it at all and no one would explain it to me. Even Detlan said that it should wait until I was older.

This is something that happens a lot. I know that mommy and daddy are famous for something they did during the war, but no one will tell me what it was "until I'm older". Mommy always snaps at me or says she has a headache when I ask. Daddy normally laughs and says it's nothing to worry about but a few times when I was little I kept on asking him and he got very scary and then locked himself in a closet until the next day. So these days I mostly ask strangers. They always get this sad look and tell me to wait a few years.

I tried to ask Beetee, because he explained lots and lots of other things to me—mostly things I didn't actually ask about. I waited until we stopped one night and he was inspecting the engine (which was having more trouble) by himself.

ME: Mr. Beetee, I need to ask you a question.

BEETEE: Mm?

ME: It's a serious question.

BEETEE: Mhm.

ME: Are you listening?

BEETEE: Mm.

I had to practically drag him away from that stupid car but he finally paid attention to me and I asked what mommy and daddy had done in the war that was such a secret.

BEETEE: Rosie, you have to understand that your parents—and many others, myself included—did things they aren't proud of during the war. It was a bad time. Though the end was just, our means were sometimes…otherwise.

None of this really made sense.

ME: Okay, but can you tell me what they did or not?

BEETEE: No. That's for them to tell you, when you're older and you can understand better.

ME: I'm very old. I'm going to be eight in just two weeks. On tests at school I scored like a twelve-year-old in two sections. I'm almost as ancient as you.

Beetee laughed at this. Then he asked what sections I scored so well on and seemed impressed when I told him. Then he said that maybe such a smart girl could help him figure out what was wrong with the car. He told me a lot about how the car worked and even let me try to fix it with him. Mommy was mad that I got covered in oil and made me take a bath, but I still had fun. I guess that I like cars and Beetee is okay too.

We broke down a bunch of times and kept running out of gas at bad moments. Rye brought sidewalk chalk with him so we drew on the road and played games while Beetee tried to temporarily patch up the car or mommy walked for gas (daddy has trouble walking for a long time because he only has one real leg). We played a lot of hopscotch and tic-tac-toe, plus a game from Three called Minesweeper, which Beetee "heavily modified for pavement implementation", and another game from Seven called Timber which involved a lot of falling over.

At this point we were about to hit the mountains and there were more people on the roads. Sometimes we played with other kids and families who stopped nearby. A lot of people had the same idea as us, to drive to the Capitol for the ceremony. I signed a lot of autographs and mommy and daddy signed even more. Rye can't write yet but he would scribble on napkins with his crayons. Mommy said the whole celebrity thing made her sick but I liked it a lot.

Another reason there were so many people was that nearby there were a lot of A-States, or Autonomous States. We didn't visit any because we were in such a big hurry but I think it might have been cool.

There's this one tiny military dictatorship called Villeville which only has fifteen people. You have to pay a really big bribe to get across the border but it would be worth it because it's the only place in the whole world where you can get the famous Jalapeno Waffle, which you have to sign a waiver before you eat.

I learned all about this last year but you probably didn't being a teacher and all, so I should explain. An A-State is basically a little country inside Panem. For a while after the war some people decided to make little communes and towns where they could live however they wanted and lots of them wanted to be independent nations. The government didn't want to set a bad precedent by being restrictive like the old Capitol so they let anyone who wanted to form a commune and then secede. This went on for about ten months before the government realized it was stupid and put a stop to it. Still a lot of them didn't rejoin the country and the biggest A-State, which is in the desert in the south, has almost fifty thousand people in it. That's as many people as District Five.

We were expecting to get to the Capitol pretty soon by this point and

I have to stop writing because I'm actually supposed to be in the bath right now. Mommy always yells when I skip my bath.

**Classwork:** Continue to work on your semester assignments. Remember to give _specifics._ I do not want to read _my dog is nice_ one more time.

So apparently we should be more specific and tell lots of little stories if we can't think of anything interesting to say. Also we shouldn't use any profanity in our papers and yes I did notice that you looked right at me when you said that part.

So some of our conversations went like this:

BEETEE: You know, Peeta, I think that this engine doesn't even belong with this car.

DADDY: What? Why?

BEETEE: Well, I took a closer look at these spark plugs—come look—and I can see that they're a type which stopped being produced even before the war. Everything in here is ancient, but it's all been touched up nicely. Even I almost didn't notice.

Daddy seemed very confused. He didn't get why this would matter. I was in on the joke because Beetee had told me all about how he used to work in an auto shop when he was younger, like Detlan's age, and too young for a real government-approved job. They did a lot of sneaky stuff to make money.

DADDY: So what does that mean?

BEETEE: You were cheated. The engine swap is the oldest trick in the book.

Daddy got sort of weird then and talked a lot about how he didn't actually pay for the car and so he didn't do anything wrong and of course he knew all the time. He got pretty upset.

Mommy and Daddy were fighting a lot then. They were sick of being together all day every day, mostly because we were getting stuck in more and more traffic then. Detlan and Johanna got into some pretty big fights as well, mostly about things I didn't understand. Some of them were really bad, even when they didn't try to hit each other.

This one time Rye and me were playing hopscotch while the car was broken and I heard Johanna shouting at Detlan from somewhere down the road. She said: Don't you _get_ it? Every damn time I see you! It's just like looking at him!

DETLAN: I can't help it! I never asked—

JOHANNA: God! I just hate you both so much sometimes!

And then they both said a lot of stuff I'm not allowed to put into this paper anymore. They were both very sulky for the rest of the day and it looked like maybe Detlan was crying. I don't know.

Sometimes we had fun though. Like we talked a lot about words when we got bored and how they could be made better.

BEETEE: You know, motor-hotel is a bit of a mouthful. I'm sure there's a better way to say it.

MOMMY: Um…tor-tel?

RYE: Turtle?

Johanna thought this was very funny and I guess we all laughed some even though it was a stupid thing for him to say.

DETLAN: How about mo-tel?

ME: That's silly.

JOHANNA: Yeah, I don't see that catching on.

And this one time, while Mommy and Daddy were sleeping in the morning because they'd spent all yesterday trying to bargain with this mean mechanic to get the car fixed again, Beetee took us out in the car and taught Detlan how to drive a little. Detlan was so bad at it that we barely moved. It was really funny. Then Johanna showed us a bunch of tricks. Then she had Beetee carefully drive backwards in circles for a while to turn back the odometer so Mommy wouldn't know.

This other time Johanna got into a big fight with this guy who was driving too slow in front of us. She just blew the horn at him at first for like thirty seconds straight but then he stopped and got out and started yelling so she did too and they almost started fighting for real. But after they got pretty close to each other he suddenly looked really scared and got back in his car and drove away so fast. It was weird.

Really mostly we were just driving and it was boring. It was like half my life stuck in that car. But I guess we also had fun sometimes.

**Assignment: **Share one important, in-depth story about your topic if it is your pet or family vacation. If you chose coal by-products, discuss fly ash.

I haven't really said anything about the most important or at least the most unusual part of our trip, which was near the end. This was when we were in District Two. It was raining super hard and our windshield wipers don't work so we pulled over at this rest stop sort of thing to get out of the weather. This wasn't a normal stop because it first wasn't owned by the government (there was this old guy in charge who chased Detlan with a broom) and second because stuff was sold there in lots of little shops and there were people walking around with coffee and things like that.

So Detlan had just escaped from the old guy—who thought he was shoplifting even though I'm at least mostly sure he wasn't actually—and we were looking at socks together with Rye, when I heard Johanna laughing kind of weird from this shop down the hall. We went to go look and she was talking with someone else, this tall man who I didn't know. Then she saw us and said:

Kids, I want you to meet someone!

DETLAN: We've met.

JOHANNA: I wasn't talking to you, nimrod. Kids, this is your uncle Gale.

ME AND RYE: Who?

"UNCLE" GALE: Your mother hasn't mentioned me?

ME: Uh. No.

"UNCLE" GALE: Not at all?

JOHANNA: Of course she didn't. Come on kids, let's go.

So we went to find Mommy and Daddy and nobody seemed happy to see our uncle. Or our not-really-uncle. Whatever. He didn't seem too happy to be there either but Johanna kept at it and they had this long awkward conversation about the weather. Mommy looked like she was going to throw up but kept trying to smile.

NOT-UNCLE: I'm just trying to get into the Capitol for the ceremony.

MOMMY: I suppose you'd be the guest of honor.

This looks like a nice thing to say when I write it but she was being very mean when she said it. I didn't know why.

NOT-UNCLE: Umm. Well, um, my ride ditched me back in Three. I've been hitching since. I think I won't make it at this rate.

JOHANNA: We could give you a ride!

Our not-uncle went all "oh no really I can't". He thought he was being sneaky but he wasn't. I could tell he really wanted to join us.

MOMMY: Johanna, can we talk—over here—for a minute?

They went around the corner and shouted for a minute. Daddy and our not-uncle-Gale looked very uncomfortable. Detlan tried to make things better and said "hey, let's go find Beetee!" so we left. When we finally came back the rain was stopping and not-uncle-Gale was coming along with us to the Capitol, which we were supposed to be about a day away from by then.

Nobody in the car talked. We had no room to hardly breathe and everyone was on someone's lap. It was really really unfun.

The next day we were all really ready to be at the Capitol so the whole dumb trip could be over already. But then:

MOMMY: Oh, come on, Johanna, let him pass. If he wants to speed, let him do it up the road instead.

She was talking about this guy behind us who was going like way too fast.

JOHANNA: What an idiot. Thinks he's so hot. Lucky I don't ram right into him. Just begging for a crash.

But she waved the guy in a red car past us and he weaved around and then disappeared around a corner. The road was pretty crowded so we didn't see him again until later when his car was in a pile with three others and on fire a little.

Nobody would tell us if anyone was hurt but there were lots of police and the highway got completely closed off. So there was this huge traffic jam going back for miles and miles and nobody was moving at all. We just turned off the car and hopped out. It was pretty cold so we all dug out jackets and then we went off to have fun while the grown-ups sat around being boring.

We played with two brothers from District Three who beat us all really bad at Minesweeper. Their big sister was in charge and she was plugged into her synthvid, a fancy new one, the whole time and not really looking after us. I think the idea was that she was there in case someone actually started to kill us. She was very pretty and Detlan kept trying to talk to her but she was very rude and didn't even say hello. Detlan got mad and was grumpy all day after that.

We also met these people: the concert band for the ceremony running very very late and practicing on their bus, an ice-cream truck with a mean man driving who wouldn't sell anything to us on the road, a chicken truck that all the chickens had escaped from somewhere on motorway C-5, the professional fireworks-display people from Six who had a ton of tattoos, some people who live a few streets away from us at home, a man who tried to give us candy from the window of a grey van and Detlan made us stay away from, a couple who said they were bank robbers and the brothers from Three seemed to know all about, a lady walking lots of tiny dogs, a bunch of kids running away from a Children's Home in Eight who we gave our lunches to because they were out of cash, a man dressed like a banana, a balloon-seller, two fortune-tellers, a troupe of travelling preachers and part-time organists, and one chicken.

I went back to the car alone to find my jump rope and ran into our "uncle" Gale. He wanted to talk.

UNCLE: How's your mother?

ME: Fine.

UNCLE: She doesn't seem fine.

ME: She was before you got here.

UNCLE: Oh.

ME: You should talk to her. You made her mad, I think. Or sad. Both. Can you help me find my jump rope?

UNCLE: It isn't that easy.

ME: Sure it is, I think it's inside Johanna's bag which is right under the seat, I just can't reach it is all.

UNCLE: I mean talking to your mother.

We headed over to the car and tried to pull Johanna's bag out from the pile of cases under the seats.

ME: It is _too_ easy. You're talking to me fine, right?

UNCLE: It's…the situation…well, it's complicated.

ME: Explain it to me.

I unzipped Johanna's bag and started trying to find the jump rope. She had a lot of strange things in that bag including tap shoes and what Detlan called "plastic explosives".

UNCLE: …

ME: Well?

UNCLE: It should wait until you're older.

I found the jump rope, which is bright green, and pulled it out. I just sat there and looked at "uncle" Gale.

ME: I hear that too much.

UNCLE: Did you know—well, no, I guess not. No one ever showed you—no. You just look a lot like someone I knew. Your eyes.

ME: Who?

UNCLE: A girl. She would have liked you.

ME: But _who?_

UNCLE: I shouldn't say. Here—

He looked around quickly, to make sure no one was coming. Then he pulled a picture out of his shirt pocket. It was weird that he just happened to have it right there. The picture looked very old. It was of a girl, probably younger than Detlan, holding a cat. The girl did have eyes a lot like mine but blond hair and a gap in her teeth. She looked very happy and was very pretty and the cat was very ugly.

ME: Who is it?

UNCLE: You can't tell anyone I showed you the picture. Especially not your mother. I just thought you should know.

ME: But I still don't know! I'm so confused! I'm way more confused now than before.

UNCLE: I'm sorry.

Then he wouldn't say anything else.

**FINAL ASSIGNMENT:** Summarize your topic and add any final thoughts you've had throughout this process. Try to wrap up concisely—one paragraph. Remember, a paragraph is three to seven sentences.

It wasn't really a bad trip. The ceremony was alright but it took place during the season finale of _The Adventures of Sheep-Boy_ and the orchestra didn't get there on time. Everyone got some official recognitions, like awards, and me and Rye and Detlan all got interviewed. We met the president. There was a nice dinner and we had fun at the hotel. It could have been worse. We took the train home because mommy said we would all murder each other if we had to drive back.

And that was my family vacation.

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**Reviews make me happy :)**


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